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veronica vertigo

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.... [30 May 2015|02:41pm]
Where do you go when you don't know where to go? I can't be happy. I can't change things. I can only distract myself in such a way that I don't harm myself. I want to go to therapy but I don't have insurance. I stopped smoking weed. I have to if I want to get into a decent career. and honestly, i don't need it, but i need something.
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fire [13 Jul 2010|06:15pm]

Posted using http://moby.to/rnez5f
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Writer's Block: LJ Comments [20 Jun 2008|06:09pm]
Are you more of a comment-receiver or a comment-maker on LiveJournal? Why?

I receive because I am a selfish person. I also have the tendency to say things in a comment that other people might take offensively, because of the way that I phrased said comment.
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Writer's Block: Define Cheater [23 Apr 2008|02:51pm]
What is your definition of cheating?

Actual penetration of an orifice. Even a hand in a cupped position. Kissing is really not that bad. It's just a kiss, and it doesn't have to lead anywhere. Kisses are innocent. And are widely not considered as a sin (according to religions and such, but that's not what this is about). Kissing happens usually before the sex part.
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Writer's Block: Family Matters [06 Apr 2008|12:56pm]
I believe I'm the rebel child in my family. I'm Bipolar 1 and it's been a huge problem all through my teenage years. When I was fourteen, I was hospitalized for my mania because I had run away and was drinking. The doctors at the ER recommended me listing into Dominion Hospital, which was a brick building with white walls. When I was there, a doctor had offended me severely, and in turn I had a fit. He diagnosed me as being Bipolar, but all of my other therapists and psychiatrists after that had disagreed.

Needless to say, my mood disorder has really caused some severe chasms in my family. I've been the selfish middle child, feeling as if I hadn't had the same attention as my older and little sister. First child is the brilliant, perfect one (even though she's close to being a sociopath and has the utmost anti-social characteristics) and my little sister is the baby (even though she's an uppity bitch who's spoiled and finicky as an old woman).

I guess I've just felt neglected in the past. Now, I'm medicated and stable and living on my own, and I've managed to look at my old memories and laugh at how ridiculous I was for a daughter.
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Edgar Allen Poe [15 Mar 2008|03:41pm]
What is your favorite quote? And why?

"Those who dream by day are aware of many things that escape those who dream only by night."

This quote by Edgar Allen Poe was written on a poster hung on a wall in my High School creative writing class. The words haven't necessarily brought me luck in writing, but it's always boosted my confidence.
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print out [04 Sep 2007|05:50pm]
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[03 Jul 2007|09:03pm]
my words my rhyme
don't correlate with a signature time
and we find my fabrications
definite, but not all concluded
when made under delusions
of the characters from now that
we all can't tell
we continue to fall
below the belt of society's norms
set up to be uniform
and looked down upon
when not the same as
the images they frame
as "beauty" and "strength"
when really, in depth
they lead the same lives
and continues flaws
with dirty paws
and deception built over
the bridge of conteporary conception
i find my obsessions to be
from the worship of possessions
so my words flow freely
but are not the same
when i hold no fame
and i'm simply another
teenager girl with art as my lover
at best i can be biased
by the many choices i make
and opinions i fake
as the world i face
leaves no trace of love
so i deny life as beautiful
but degrading and dutiful
by mind is set on instinct
to eat, drink, fuck, sleep
therefore hating myself too much to weep
or let anyone know the real me
because even i am at a loss
of understanding
that complex mystery
of an individual against society
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ooh lala [06 Jun 2007|07:00pm]
[handful] soma + hydrocodone + ganja = wobbly legs, blurred vision, and a sense of shameless joy.

last night was strange, and at the same time, very, very awesome. but in a bizarre way.
[nix the details, always]
i kinda feel like it was a dream. i'm feeling a good serving of denial with what happened.
the possibility of it not being worth it comes to mind.
[beside the actual consumption of mind altering love]

i think that's my new favorite concoction.

june 6th, 2004
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[04 May 2007|09:49am]
I'm in like with a boy who just turned sixteen about a week ago. I'm eighteen. Wtf.

We're sorta dating, and he's an absolute cutie.
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[02 Feb 2007|10:28am]
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
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[18 Nov 2003|10:55pm]
[ mood | friendsonlyBIATCH! ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com


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